My dream job

Today was a really fine day for a wedding. Not too hot and a little breeze. The people were really nice too. That always helps. For me it is always a relief when I have a couple that isn't a fundamental Christian. The people were "spiritual" and that was evident in their attitudes to everything. The couple had a severely disabled child that had a 10 month old maturity in a 10 year old body. He was part of the service and I took picture like crazy of him. It is hard to get these photos but my work with disabled people has helped me to sort of think on the run and out of the box as well. Many people are put off by a severely retarded child but that is simply a short coming that I find hard to excuse.

I looked at this little guy (Jim) and he was really blessed to have such a group of people that are devoted to his care. My daughter Sara's youngest son, Sam, has now been diagnosed with Autism. He is by comparison to Jim quite high functioning and at first glance you would not know he has a developmental disabiliy. I guess we are lucky and so is Sam because in spite of his illness he can still live a full life.

So I have another really nice wedding under my belt. Next week will be the 3rd in as many weeks. This month was a personal best. Three weddings in one month is great. Now if I can just get one more before month end...that would be sweet. This is truly my dream job. If I could shoot for a living I would be very happy. I guess I will just have to put that request out there in hopes that it comes back to me. the picture I have included today is from a different wedding earlier this summer. This little girl was playing with Elsie's hat collection. Cute

Things are looking up

It is nice that things seems to be getting better. I don't know how but they are. I still am frozen and unable to write physically in my journal. I feel like a deer frozen in headlights. Ah the joys of unemployment. It seems while I was educating myself I was undermining my work history with the sin of "employment gaps". So much for education making you more marketable in the job market.

It seems that more and more I am put back onto my creative endeavors to be able to make a "living". Hard to feel like it is legitimate work. Although after shooting solid for 3 hours at a wedding it definately feels like work to me. Each job I interview for I am hopeful and I feel like my interviews go well but I have a sneaky suspision that someone thinner, younger and cuter is going to get the job. Perhaps I should just take a job at McDonald's.

Okay, so I have whined enough now and I will acknowledge that there are many others that are in the same boat as me. I find that cold comfort and I hardly need company in my unemployed status. Fortunately the weddings keep trickling in so I am able to just by. The wedding fundage is supposed to be gravy money but at least I am 100% making it on my own. I just keep trudging along.

On a lighter note, I have spent time with a wonderful group of people that seem centered enough to be real in their pursuit of creator. They have this wonderful energy and judging by the connection we made last night the energy is high. I think I will stick with this group for awhile and see where it goes. I look forward to our next circle.

Kitty Kills Time

Lighting on journal pages is sometimes a problem. This is a scanned image and it is a bit better than using the digi but some of the colors still distort. Kitty Kills time is what I came up when I looked at this kitty with a knife in its little paw. Someone please tell me what it stands for. I don't have as much skill as some of our sketchers out there but this is my start. I would like some info on photographing art works.... as in all things photographic, lighting is the key element. In the case of "Kitty" I think there might be too much light and it alters the actual appearance of the layered paint.

Babies with babies

It is really funny how age gives you 20/20 hindsight. I grew up at the tailend of the whole hippie shindig. We broke the barriers of sexual freedom and broke a few wine bottles while we were at it. Unfortunately when it was all over and everbody went onto something else.... I was still a hippie at heart. Hippies became Yuppies, and previous worship of love and peace became a love of amassing goods and aquiring power. I kept the hippie alive and well by failing to fit the new mold. I preferred to persue the art of creative pursuits from writing to dancing.

I decided to live my life stepping over lines while stepping on all sorts of toes while I was at it. One of those lines was having a baby at the young age of 16. My daughter grew up to have her child at 16 and god only knows what her 14 year old daughter will do. I have always had a love of teenagers, perhaps being a time-warped hippie has something to do with that. The "question authority" thing that all teenagers seem to have appeals to me. So alllll that being said, when my girlfriend came to me and asked me to take "Demi Moore" shots of her teenage daugher (with Belly), I went for it. It kind of back fired on me though because artistically it really worked. The photos are really beautiful and the enduring message to the children is that they were welcomed and loved.

The subject in this photo was joking around when she grabbed an old Raggedy Andy of mine, and pretended to nurse her baby. What resulted was a sober moment captured by the camera. Do you think she heard her childhood passing her by?

B&W

Here is my favorite B&W taken on my trusty, dusty ol' manual Canon camera. This is my favorite "Baby in the Belly" shot (left). I cannot seem to get the same depth of fields in my automatic Canon Rebel that I can with that old manual camera. Must be doing something wrong. Time to do spring cleaning I guess and find my old manual camera.

Maternity Shots

This is a shot to the left was taken at that "magic hour" when the sun is just about to go down. I shot this with an old manual 35mm Canon. I loved that camera. It got misplaced when I moved. sigh. Remeber to shoot quickly and perpare for this time because it goes by so quickly.

The Golden Hour

For those that are photo enthuiasts that are just starting out, you have to know that the golden hour to shoot (literally) is 1-2 hours before the sun sets. When the sun hangs low and gets that wonderful golden glow, you can get photos that appear magical. The sun creates a golden halo around the object being shot and the color of the light is a flattering gold. Place the subject with their back to the sun and then shoot the picture. It helps if you have a flash because as the subject faces you they fall in the shadow. Step back a good 10-12 feet from the subject to use your flash or you will light up the subject and cancel out the advantages of the setting sun. Use your Macro to get a closer shot.

Now it is understood that you cannot always get this lighting, I have yet to figure out how to replicate it artficially an make it look just as good. When I figure that on out I will get back to you. There is just nothing that can replace good natural lighting. I have 10 years of shooting experience and although it isn't much I give you the benefit of my limited knowledge. Anybody out there get those Golden Hour photos that I am talking about? Let me know.

Film VS. Digitial

Film or Digital

When I was in college the big buzz in Media was “Which was better; Film or Digital images”?. My education consisted of learning to practice basic photography and processing, while also learning the new digital imaging. HDTV was just beginning to take prominence and I had the unusual position of learning my craft at the handoff of image, from film to digital. There was quite a debate raging and after the last 10 years of that debate, digital has finally become the standard.

BUT
Is digital best? I don’t think so. I believe that each medium has its merits. While it can be argued that film has been relegated to use only in high art, I feel that is still has a purpose and in some ways is quite superior. The pure image comes from film; it is not pixilated and all the edges are touching. We have become so used to looking at a digital image and seeing the artificial crispness, we see that as preferable over the film image. If we look at a film image we see all of the edges touching and that makes us perceive the image as blurry. I believe that the film image is a more organic or natural expression of the image. The soul of the image is found in film.

As a photographer I have defended the use of each medium because there are just too many instances where film is more appropriate. Whenever shooting weddings or any occasion of the heart, using film gives a softer focus and deeper shadows. It is definitely a more romantic version of the image. When I shoot a wedding I use two cameras, one film and one digital. Additionally, many film studios shoot on film and transfer to digital so in some cases film is still the standard. Of course the technology improves itself so quickly that soon the digital image will completely replace film and it will be able to re-create even the subtleties of film. However, it will never replace the thrill of putting photography paper into developer and watching that image appear like magic.

Black and White film has a look that is very distinctive. In Film school it was said by an instructor of mine that "when all the color is taken out of an image all that remains is emotion". I suppose what is being referenced here is the shadowplay that occurs in B&W photos. Recently there has been an effort to solve the problem of B&W processing by making B&W on color film. This really excited me because out-labbing B&W is very costly and time consuming. I have shot a roll of B&W on color film with about 5 weddings. I have found that the image comes out in a tin-type (brown) which appears as though it is old-fashioned but still it is not B&W. Additionally this type of B&W film does not have the sharp look that B&W has, so I will continue to use the expensive, time consuming B&W film when I feel it is necessary for this type of imae

Finally in defense of using both methods of recording image, digital is so immediately gratifying. You shoot the image and in a matter of minutes transfer images to your computer without the hassle of processing. How cool is that? It makes getting an image much less expensive and faster. This makes it possible to use photography virtually anywhere and judging by all the camera phones out there we see clearly that digital is here to stay.

In conclusion, I can make a clear case for merits in both mediums and as a photographer will continue to use both forms to capture image.

I have to get another job.

I had the worst night at work. The kind of night that you want to just walk off of. All of the clients seemed to be up at once. Very scary actually. The full moon is coming and that's when our clients decide to get difficult. Just got to ride it out I guess.

Don't you just love this little picture I took in the cemetary. I shot it with a sky background and then brightened the image. I really like it. Her face was heavy in the shadow though and it was tough to lighten up. Next time I will exhibit some of my flower shots. Peace, Storm

Learning something new

I have been teaching myself lots of stuff lately. It seems when you are in learning mode all sorts of things come in. Lately I have been looking on the internet for lessons on stuff to draw. This latest drawing comes from my efforts to learn to draw wings. Easier than it sounds. But along the way I learned how to draw negative space. Interesting. At least I am drawing. I think this is a guy.... I am not sure though LOL.

In Review

Sundays are always difficult. Odd for a day that is supposed to be for rest and repose. I always miss my kids and grandkids. Sunday seems to be a day for looking back and taking stock. Sometimes when I take stock I want to beat my head against a wall. I feel like a big fist landed smack in the middle of my family sending them to the four winds. I know that on a regular basis they would drive me nuts but to have them in the room all of them at the same time, for just a Sunday, would be heaven.

After the riots in '92 I left L.A. with my 12 year old son. My son is black and I am white and in an effort to be a good parent I thought leaving Cali would be a good thing. In L.A. I watched my neighborhood be torn apart by rioting and it had made me very jumpy. We ran to the Northwest and were quick to become as good as natives to the area. I met a guy that was in a bad marriage and helped him through his divorce. Once he had his divorce (took 3 years) and he was a free man I found out that I had Breast Cancer. He dumped me during my Chemo and married the woman he had been dating on the side. While ending my Cancer treatments with radiation my son's best friend was murdered and we had to grieve a young person's death. While all this was going on I attended school and somehow managed to get my B.A. degree. I did Radiation in the morning and drive 30 miles to school afterwards.

After sweet Willie's death my son was never the same. He got wilder and spent more time running the streets. I had tried like hell before I got sick to chase after him but once I got sick I was just physically unable. I believe I somehow lost him... He got himself in trouble and got a 3 and a half year ride out of it. This was worse than Cancer. To this day I am not sure how I got through it. I love my son like air and he is my heart. Is it only the mother that bleeds when her son goes to prison? I wonder.

I suppose there are many that would say that my son deserved what he got but I have many questions with that view. My son finished high school, was on the football team, worked, and had a child. He never so much as had a ticket. How did this happen? Upon my son's release he got a job the same day. He worked at that job for a year and a half. He then got an even better job making more money that me. He supports his children and does everything he can to make up for his absence in their lives.

Now we are through it but the heaviness of our past clings to us. I am amazed that I just put this in text and even considered publishing it. This is stuff that you hide from folks much less put it in a journal or publish it on a blog. But I think that somewhere I need a voice and even though things have been ugly I dare someone to take a good look. Sinlge mothers are now the rule, not the exception. We, my son and I, like many others are the fallout. I become very sad when I see other young people going through it......so many train wrecks about to happen.

My son and I are doing fairly well now although he got laid off, I am sure he will find something. Hard workers have a tendency to get hired. I have always been an artist dabbling in some form of expression and have a degree in Production. I like to tell stories and write scripts. Not that I have much of a chance to do that. Ah well .... maybe one day. ~~Good Sunday to all.~~Storm